Esti femeie cand te doare, grav

20 mai 2009


Stii ca esti femeie cand n-ai un centimetru din corp care nu te doare, ustura, mananca, frige etcetera.
Am ajuns la aceasta apoteotica concluzie dupa ce m-am inscris de saptamana trecuta in Programul Rabla, adica zi de zi o noua durere s-a instalat.

1. Hai coaie sa ma epilez cu crema pe picioare, ca poate e mai misto decat cu lama. Crema- Farmec. Indicatii- Aplicare pe pielea curata, 24 ore feriti de produse cosmetice si sapun. Efect- Picioare fara par pline de bube, cu pielea belita. Motiv- Am intrat ca vaca la dus si n-aveam cum sa izolez picioarele, therefore Dove Silk Glow Meets Shaving Foam Meets Pain. Rezultat pe termen lung- nu pantaloni scurti pentru o vreme.

2. Hai coaie sa port balerini, ca tot am o pereche misto. Balerini- negri de lac cu catarame argintii. Indicatiii- Fara sosete pe picior. Efect- 3 basici noi, pielea belita, iritatie grava, mers de broasca epileptica, durere de oase din talpa (exista oase in talpa, gura!), durere de glezne. Motiv- sa mor daca stiu, am zis si eu sa ies din adidasi si din sosete gaurite si decolorate. Rezultat pe termen lung- o sa ma doara picioarele o saptamana.

3. Hai coaie sa-mi fac un tratament anti-celulita intensiv, ca ma mananca gaia in curand. Crema- Nu zic ca e prea misto si e in interesul meu sa sabotez alte femei pe motiv de invidie si competitie. Efect- Piele faina, lucioasa, curata, tot tacamul. Motiv- am picioare prea ok sa mi le roada celulita si din cand in cand ma apuca. Rezultat pe termen lung- bulane. So, what's the problem? Teh problemo is:
Crema contine mentol si extract de ardei iute, si nu d-ala asa 0,00000001% concentrat. D-ala sanatos tati. Daca vrunu din voi si-a dat cu pasta de dinti in ochi (se mai intampla), sau a manacat un ardei d-ala iute de i-a curatat si nasu si urechile instantaneu, atunci veti intelege. Imaginati-va sa va dati pe piele cu o combinatie din cele 2, sa va infasurati in folie alimentara si sa incercati sa adormiti cu o senzatie de arsura si inghet in acelasi timp pe craci si burta. Not kidding, arsura si inghet dude. Si a doua zi sa va treziti la 8, dupa ce v-ati chinuit 2 ore sa ignorati efectele cremei si v-a luat pana la urma si durerea de cap.

How's that? As mai avea de zis, da' mi-e nitel rusine.

130 comentarii:

phat spunea...

poor little muffin..>:D<

5/20/2009
The Dude spunea...

Stai tu linistit, uita-te un pic pe strada sau intr-un club, sa vezi barbati (not gay) care fac tot ce ai zis tu mai sus. Exceptand balerinii. Cel putin pensatul e deja mainstream la dudes. Am inceput sa ma simt minoritar cu semi-monobrow-ul meu :)

5/21/2009
The Dude spunea...

*linistita

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

it all comes down to getting laid?

:D

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drpy spunea...

getting laid smoothly?

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muffin spunea...

who, me?
i'm getting some (?)

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The Dude spunea...

Deci legea fundamentala e ca tre' sa faca "PLICI!" :))

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

wtf?

dude, cu riscu' de a parea retardata, explain yourself.
i sometimes don't get it :(

5/21/2009
The Dude spunea...

Getting people confused is my high :))

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muffin spunea...

tststststs
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The Dude spunea...

Ok. Gen, daca, like, toata lumea acum se depileaza like, peste tot gen, indiferent de gen, gen, like si la sprancene si pe picioare si pe cur si in cur, like, gen, decurge logic faptul ca, like, "legea fundamentala e ca totul trebuie sa faca 'plici'" gen in order to get laid gen in our days. Or something.

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

gen, la modu' daca acum mi-ai explicat, am inteles uber. Ca am ars-o confuz pana acum.
i'm losing my master skillz la gen...
need to get out of the cave from time to time, lawl

5/21/2009
drpy spunea...

drpy to the rescue...cred ca el se refera la "PLICIUL" mai mare care il faci fara pilozitati fata de "pliciul" mai mic care se intampla cand intre doua suprafete "smooth" mai exista si...well...par. Sau s-ar putea sa fi inteles si eu gresit.

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

drpy e droopy nu? ca sa stiu daca estem tu sau un strain.

in orice caz, nu vreti sa stiti la ce ma gandesc cand aud plici, but i shall tell...undeva intre spanking si sweaty surfaces rubbing together? god, i'm in the dark here :(

5/21/2009
The Dude spunea...

S-a priiins!

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muffin spunea...

nu rade de mine, sunt mica :(

5/21/2009
drpypnk spunea...

mdaa da nu mai folosesc cu vocale ca tind sa il folosesc si in chestii semi-serioase si cauta lumea pe net id-ul si gaseste tot felul de aberatii care le-am zis de-a lungul timpului pe care nu vreau sa ma apuc sa le explic :P

fara legatura: dude(the) ti-am trimis un mail...un raspuns?

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

iti futi reputatia? :))
sa vezi cum e sa iti stie colegii de munca aberatiile. rusine la maxim.

5/21/2009
drpy spunea...

mneah colegii de la munca stiu aberatiile din viu grai, sunt oameni care nu ma cunosc si nici eu pe ei asa bine si nah eu stiu la ce se gandesc cand citesc :-??.
plus ca e mai scurt.
pai nu asa te-ai angajat? :P

5/21/2009
muffin spunea...

aproximativ :))
da' tot e intrat in sertaru' cu chiloti treaba asta cu internetu

5/21/2009
drpy spunea...

Dap este.
Tocmai de asta o sa ii tin pe ai mei mai sub "cheie". :P

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